go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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