i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
