so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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