wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
