Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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