i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
