This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
