ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
