her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
