i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
