It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize