I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
