Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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