so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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