yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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