i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
