The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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