He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
