Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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