I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he fucked my hip out of place.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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