I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
