It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
