if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
