I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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