I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
