he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
