did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
