WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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