she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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