Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
