He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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