I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
