He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
