Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize