Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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