Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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