i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
