Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
