apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
