YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
