oh god the rape fog is back!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize