and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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