you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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