I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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