That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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