I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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