i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
