i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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