I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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