Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
