he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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