Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
