I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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