Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
