It's just like the Real World with babies
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My bed smells like the plague
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
