but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize