You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
