So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize