You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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