My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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